Two Families: So Different
One woman of a family thinks of entitlements for having sex with a wealthy politician; the other is a recent widow and has two sons with cerebral palsy. For the second family, my workplace raised over $1200 and bought most of this following wish list:
Mom
Tide laundry soap
Baby wipes
Shampoo
Cascade Action packs
Oldest Son, age 24, confined to wheelchair
Shirts, adult size L
Jeans, 32 W, 32 L
More visual, can’t use hands very much, enjoys animated movies
Younger son, age 12, also confined to wheelchair
Shirts, child size medium or size 8
Pants or jeans, size 10
Hotwheels, just the cars
Transformer toys
Transformer II movie
Household
Both boys could use new sheet sets for bedding, twin size, no flannel
Bath towels, wash clothes
Kitchen towels
Pots and pans
In addition, staff brought cards, postage stamps, etc. I bought for them one of the sets of sheets (some nice all cotton ones).
Can you imagine wishing for laundry detergent and shampoo as personal gifts?
BW readers, we asked what the mom wanted for herself. She said she liked scented candles.
Mind you we are facing furloughs and layoffs.
The Gold Dust Woman in JRE's life is something else to demand 18K a month and doesn't even try to work. She is selfish and lazy.
I call her that based on this song by Fleetwood Mac:
http://www.kewego.com/video/iLyROoafteck.html
Poverty will always tug at my heart strings. I will not understand why John got involved with such a low class (in spirit) woman and put his family through the tabloids. This woman is capable of working and chooses not to. She is not the working poor when she demands $2100 for babysitting expenses and doesn't try to work.
Mom
Tide laundry soap
Baby wipes
Shampoo
Cascade Action packs
Oldest Son, age 24, confined to wheelchair
Shirts, adult size L
Jeans, 32 W, 32 L
More visual, can’t use hands very much, enjoys animated movies
Younger son, age 12, also confined to wheelchair
Shirts, child size medium or size 8
Pants or jeans, size 10
Hotwheels, just the cars
Transformer toys
Transformer II movie
Household
Both boys could use new sheet sets for bedding, twin size, no flannel
Bath towels, wash clothes
Kitchen towels
Pots and pans
In addition, staff brought cards, postage stamps, etc. I bought for them one of the sets of sheets (some nice all cotton ones).
Can you imagine wishing for laundry detergent and shampoo as personal gifts?
BW readers, we asked what the mom wanted for herself. She said she liked scented candles.
Mind you we are facing furloughs and layoffs.
The Gold Dust Woman in JRE's life is something else to demand 18K a month and doesn't even try to work. She is selfish and lazy.
I call her that based on this song by Fleetwood Mac:
http://www.kewego.com/video/iLyROoafteck.html
Poverty will always tug at my heart strings. I will not understand why John got involved with such a low class (in spirit) woman and put his family through the tabloids. This woman is capable of working and chooses not to. She is not the working poor when she demands $2100 for babysitting expenses and doesn't try to work.
Labels: benny world, Elizabeth Edwards, John Edwards, poverty
posted by benny06 at
Friday, December 18, 2009
35 Comments:
This woman is capable of working and chooses not to.
I'm not sure how many people would be willing to hire her now, after everyone knows her reputation.
JRE must be dying inside at this perversion of his anti-poverty values.
My only consolation in this, is that by now it should be spelled out to him in neon, how much of a sociopath she is.
Sociopathy can explain why he got involved with her at all, come to think of it. They are highly skilled at tailoring themselves to be the perfect partner for their target, and for saying and doing exactly what the partner wants. It's a tactic to quickly earn trust and emotional bonding. The problem, of course, is that the sociopath feels no such emotional bond-- no matter how many heartfelt words they say.
But-- JRE is an immoral bag of douche, and he was all along, and saying anything else is absolving him of responsibility, and that's the end of the story.
* shrug *
* eyeroll *
By
Frances, at 8:32 AM
Co-parenting with a sociopath:
Many sociopaths appear to be outwardly respectable, and are therefore able to convince family courts that they should continue to have parental rights. Courts seem especially reluctant to accept that a mother may be a sociopath and is damaging to the child. If you have a co-parenting arrangement with a sociopath, expect to be hassled.
For your own mental health, maintain No Contact as best you can. Exchange the bare minimum of information about the child with your ex—preferably by e-mail. If you must deliver or pick up a child for visitation, have someone with you or ring the doorbell and then wait in the car.
Never let the sociopath into your home for any reason. Do not give your ex any information about your life. Resist any baiting. The sociopath will try to undermine and hurt you through the children. Document everything that happens.
For his own protection, and his family's protection, JRE can't "be a good father" and fully claim the child. That's what nobody understands.
Because when it comes to sociopathy, even qualified psychologists and psychiatrists largely don't understand it. Often times, the friends/lovers/family members of a sociopath are bigger experts than the degrees professionals.
By
Frances, at 8:37 AM
Why do you people blame HER? John Edwards and his penis could've said "no." It's not like she overpowered him and made him have sex with her...over and over and over again.
She also didn't hold a gun to his head and force him to come to that hotel room to see their love child.
If he wasn't ashamed of what he'd done, if he wasn't culpable, he wouldn't have had to RUN from the National Enquirer like a scared little girl when they confronted him in that hotel.
HE BARRICADED HIMSELF IN A HOTEL RESTROOM LIKE THE COWARD HE IS to hide from them.
Stop making excuses for him. Stop supporting the double standard that it's OK for a man to cheat, but if a woman has sex with a married man she must be a whore.
I can't STAND Rielle Hunter, but she didn't act alone.
John Edwards is a bad, bad man. He has fooled you! He has taken your trust, your volunteer hours, your campaign donations, your dignity.
Wake up and smell the coffee. He was playing you all along.
By
Unknown, at 10:07 AM
AlleyOop:
As I recall, the owner of this board thinks of you as a troll. Have a nice day.
By
Frances, at 10:32 AM
One of the most important things to remember about dealing with a sociopath, is that when you're in a relationship with one, informed choice goes out the window:
The persona of the psychopath-the “personality” the person is bonding with-does not really exist. It was built on lies, carefully woven together to entrap you. It is a mask, one of many, custom-made by the psychopath to fit your particular psychological needs and expectations. It does not reflect the true personality–the psychopathic personality–that lies beneath. It is a convenient fabrication.
Second, these relationships are not based on informed choice. The psychopath chooses you and then moves in. Outsiders, without the benefit of intimate conversation, may see what is really going on, but we tend to discount these observations, and may spend energy convincing our friends that this person is special.
... Fourth, the relationship is one-sided because the psychopath has an ulterior–-some would say “evil”–- and, at the very least, selfish motive. The victimization goes far beyond trying to take advantage of someone on a date or during a simple business transaction. The victimization is predatory in nature; it often leads to severe financial, physical or emotional harm for the individual. Healthy, real relationships are built on mutual respect and trust; they are based on sharing honest thoughts and feelings. The mistaken belief that the psychopathic bond has any of these characteristics is the reason it is so successful”.
By
Frances, at 10:48 AM
Both of the supposed adults (John Edwards and Rielle Hunter) are sickening in many ways. At least Edwards was finally ready to do the right thing and provide for the child. He was actually going beyond what most courts would demand by providing a home worth more than half a million dollars. That wasn't enough for Hunter.
Her demands aren't for the child but for herself. (They'd better be since they include $1,000 a month for alcohol and tobacco. If that's for the kid, the child should be removed from her care.) She doesn't want her child to have the same life as Edwards' other kids but a better life because the other children attend public school but she wants her kid in private school.
The kicker is that she had no earned income and no job for a few years now. Her own actions may have limited her career opportunities but she made her choices and now she has to live with the results. She should definitely support herself and owes it to her child to contribute to the child's needs.
While Edwards can be blamed for many failings, in this instance he was right to agree to pay a reasonable amount and no more. Hunter sold the story about the house and the documents to the tabloid to make him look bad and try to force him to pay what she wants. In the end, she has made herself look worse. Ultimately, she is harming her child the most. I can't imagine what it will be like for the girl to grow up with her as a mother.
By
Anonymous, at 2:09 PM
Oops, typo. The alcohol and tobacco budget is $100 per month. I guess she has a toddler size habit. Do they have mommy and me 12 step programs so they can battle their addictions together?
What in the world are all the debts and legal judgments? Looks like another person leeching off society. Why pay your bills when you can skip out on them?!
It appears what Hunter really wants is Elizabeth Edwards' life. What she doesn't realize is even if she had an exact replica of the house, same cars, etc., her life would still be empty and meaningless. It not what you have or how much you have that makes a difference but what you do with your life. The poorest person from a financial standpoint can be rich in all the ways that really matter. And the person without a soul or values or purpose like her will be poor regardless of the balance in her bank account.
By
Anonymous, at 3:24 PM
The most tragic part of this situation, other than the fact John Edwards should never have had an affair in the first place, is that it continues to play out over years. It must be agony for Elizabeth Edwards and her children to never be able to begin to heal and move on with life because the wound is being reopened time and again.
The primary players (Edwards, Hunter, Young, Baron and anyone else who facilitated the affair and cover up) deserve the fate they receive. The primary victims, not collateral damage, are Elizabeth, Cate, Emma and Jack. They had no say, no control over the others but are paying the greatest price with no end in sight.
Best wishes for Mrs. Edwards' health and her children. May they somehow find peace and happiness despite the tragedy visited upon them.
By
indyvoter, at 6:11 AM
Some excellent points! Hunter wants to be Elizabeth but who is Hunter:
She grew up in some privilege and learned to take from others instead of providing for herself. Her father killed horses for the insurance money teaching her that the ends justify the means instead of instilling morals and values in her. Rather than take advantage of the opportunity for an education, she dropped out of college. She went to NYC to be an “actress” and instead because a promiscuous cocaine addicted party girl. She schemed and scammed even then. When a sexual partner gave her an STD, she lied to him saying she was pregnant to get money from him for an abortion. She doesn’t seem to have ever held a real job but always lived an extravagant lifestyle – obviously off of others. She is without any redeeming value for herself, her child, the people who know her or society as a whole.
(We'll probably learn more sordid details about her pathetic life once the tabloids decide to turn on her, stop paying her and tell her story.)
Elizabeth is the polar opposite. She was raised by hardworking parents who love her and instilled the best values in her. She worked various jobs to get both a college degree and a law degree. As an adult she has practiced law, taught, writes and speaks in order to provide for herself and her children. Even now, when many people wouldn’t want to continue working so diligently and focus solely on their health, she has taken on the responsibility of creating and running her own business. She has devoted much of her life to others through charitable work, the foundation she established in memory of her son and her work as a health care advocate, to name a few examples. At the same time, she has spent decades raising her children teaching them the same values she has and helping them to become valuable members contributing to society. (And that work is made harder with her younger children due to the example their father has set for them.)
So it is 100% correct that Hunter can never begin to accomplish any of the things Elizabeth has no matter how much money she gets. Hunter will never be more than a punch line in bad jokes. Polite society will always scorn her for all the worthless things she is. She deserves it but I do feel sorry for her child. Instead of getting a job and setting a good example, Hunter will pass along her amoral character to her daughter teaching her the same pathetic excuses for values. Children learn more from what they see their parents do than what they hear their parents say. In this case, the little girl is lost before she has a chance to begin because there is no way Hunter is going to change, especially when all she sees is $$$$$.
By
JeanLouise, at 2:50 PM
Anonymous: Actually, the house in Charlotte that JRE supposedly bought for her went to an Emmett Jackson White. The deed is here. (This link might not load to the document itself without the latest Flash player)
I took a closer look at Mr. White, to see if he were a friend or, God forbid, another campaign donor. I came up with nothing connecting him to JRE.
So while JRE may have offered her something verbally which we may never know, both this house story and the Wilmington house story, which came out this summer, have been found to be false.
Notice the date of the court document is 5/11/2009. Didn't JRE leave for El Salvador right about this time? That must have been nice-- to spend a few weeks outside the country and come home to find this "present" waiting for you.
That timing is a little dodgy, and it looks like JRE either never faced her in court, or took a long extension. Can you file a child support demand document without the presence of the other party, merely by one-sidedly going to your attorney?
And if she did indeed get Frank Louis (rather than a partner at his firm)... yeesh. The guy's one of the top family law attorneys in New Jersey. How in hell did she get enough money to afford him? Did she get it from her NJ friend?
How is it that this woman says "Jump" and so many people in her life say "How high?" So many of her friends appear to be just as delusional as she is, and dedicated to keeping her in a reality-free bubble. Almost as if there's an unspoken code among them, to Not Let The Princess Face Reality.
This is something else, in my mind, that attests to her sociopathy.
By
Frances, at 9:25 PM
Hunter sold the story about the house and the documents to the tabloid to make him look bad and try to force him to pay what she wants. In the end, she has made herself look worse. Ultimately, she is harming her child the most. I can't imagine what it will be like for the girl to grow up with her as a mother.
The main reason why I can't join in the excoriation of JRE, is because what he did during the affair is out-of-character from what we know about him.
I don't mean his tendency to be narcissistic and preening. Any good-looking man will be the latter, and any man who coasted through life as easily as JRE did will be in danger of the former.
I mean the other things. Being unloving, careless, and forgetful of what was important were NOT his normal qualities pre-Hunter.
What he did in that time frame was very hurtful and unthinking, but he is not a man incapable of love.
Most strikingly, as a lawyer he was NOT reckless... his MO was to overprepare for a case, to the point of obsession at times.
And while the affair was marked with lies top to bottom, as a lawyer and politician he does not appear to have been a liar any more than lawyers and pols are, other than the usual "not delivering what you promise" which is unfortunately normal politician behavior.
So while he may appear to have some of the tendencies (especially his charm and slickness), I have to say he is NOT a sociopath. The hallmark of sociopathy is predatory and exploitive behavior, and an inability to love. JRE simply does not have a history of that.
Hunter, on the other hand, has a very long, strong history of selfish, exploitive, manipulative behavior. The Newsweek article that came out right after the affair came to light, the one that describes Hunter seeing JRE as her personal project, made me cringe. Also, why the hell would he find that Pygmalion act attractive.
Then, two months ago the James Ray sweat lodge tragedy came to light, and it came to me: Hunter must have been his "life coach". How else can you quickly gain someone's trust and gain an emotional bond?
Positivity is desired more than anything else in the world-- more powerful than the need for sex. After all, we live in a society where you can be fired for no projecting enough cheerfulness on the job.
Hunter promised positive emotions by the bucketload, like sociopaths do. JRE was vulnerable enough, not only to upcoming grief and campaign stress, but egotism and magical thinking, that it would have been much easier than otherwise to break him down. Throw in the sociopath's genius for making themselves the ideal partner for their target, and you have a damn near irresistible emotional cocktail.
By
Frances, at 9:51 PM
Frances,
The ownership of the Charlotte home is still unclear.
The house at 1611 Providence Road sold for $535,000 dollars to the Providence Road Trust on November 25th. The Trustee is attorney Emmett Jackson White from Charlottesville, VA. The Trust has a Raleigh post office box address registered to the law firm Lynch & Eatman. Attorney Maria Lynch is treasurer of the Wade Edwards Foundation, according to the 2008 tax return.
The documents Hunter gave to the tabloid aren't from an actual court case. They are between her attorney and her instructing her how to come up with numbers IF they go to court. They also indicate that she wants Edwards to pay for her attorney.
Everything with Hunter is about trying to get as much money as she can. Hopefully Edwards won't provide a house for her. (I'm sure the neighbors will be happy too. Hunter is sort of like a new prison - people agree it may be needed but no one wants it in their backyard.) I doubt Hunter is going to stop. As you've pointed out, she may have serious psychiatric issues. Or maybe she is a spoiled brat who should have been punished as a child so she didn't turn into a spoiled adult expecting the world to provide for her.
By
Anonymous, at 3:48 AM
Frances, et al. How can anyone here possibly know what ANY of parties involved is thinking or feeling?
"Everyone knows her reputation..."
"...how much of a sociopath she is..."
"...why he got involved with her al all..."
Dear ones, you are all attempting to play armchair psychologist and that dog just don't hunt! It's an impossible task.
John Edwards, Esq. is and always has been a joke.
He's not worth your valuable time.
By
Unknown, at 1:57 PM
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
By
Anonymous, at 11:16 PM
This comment has been removed by the author.
By
Frances, at 2:28 AM
(BTW-- that's "only TOOK the short view". *shrug*)
Anonymous-- what is the Providence Road Trust? Was it made up specifically for this address? I don't like that it sounds to me that way.
JRE would have to be INCREDIBLY stupid to give you-know-who anything connected with the Wade Edwards Foundation, after he's been in court trying to prove his campaign funds were legitimately spent. He really WILL lose me if he doesn't show some actual learning from all this-- not to mention, it would be a slap in the face to his dead son!
I'm hoping it's either a new headquarters for the foundation, or it's given to some lucky family in need (I wrote him some time back about getting in touch with that Katrina-displaced family with three kids that felt he left them too soon). Besides, it's too much house for a mother and one child (even with a security guard).
Now, it might make sense for him to move Andrew Young and family in there, giving him a plum job with the foundation to save his career-- but that doesn't seem likely either, both because I don't think they'll be friends again any time soon, and because that would look almost as shady as giving you-know-who a home. Plus, I'd be wondering why didn't JRE do that for Young a lot sooner.
By
Frances, at 2:45 AM
David-- I think he's worth my time because people right now are basically thinking his entire life has been a sham and a fraud. His entire life and personhood are becoming defined by this affair, and that's sad-- when there are plenty of REAL scamsters like Kevin Trudeau or James Arthur Ray to choose from.
One of the things I always liked most about JRE, was that he got rich in a profession that was honorable (whatever you may think about trial lawyers). One of the silent ways in which the middle class has been hurt, has been that our economic policies have effectively narrowed the range of professions in which one can make a comfortable living. Those that remain, too often have the stink of MLM to them. So that increasingly, if we middle class Americans say "no MLMs please!" the result is, "Too bad, sucker! Welcome to poverty!"
I was chilled when I watched "The Smartest Guys In The Room", at the dictatorial peer pressure Jeffrey Skilling wielded. And I thought about just how many MORE companies, particularly on Wall Street, became little Enrons in their hiring processes.
You don't look like you can afford Armani and Chanel on a regular basis? A little bit too empathetic for the less fortunate-- as evidenced by too much community service in high school? Too bad! You're not a good fit for GoldmanLehmanStearnsChase's culture.
Wall Street selected FOR employees who were greedy and thoughtless and who only took the short view... in general, people who were kept in a wealthy bubble their entire lives, and have no tendency or inclination to put themselves in less wealthy peoples' shoes. That, I am certain of.
By
Frances, at 4:12 AM
Frances,
The documents Hunter gave/sold to the tabloid indicate Edwards was to buy a house (either himself or through a trust) which he would then lease to Hunter for a cut rate price. The suggestion is the trust that bought the 1611 Providence Road house was just for this purpose. The fact that the same PO Box used by an attorney for the Wade Edwards Foundation is also used for the trust indicates a possible connection to Edwards but doesn't mean the funds came from the foundation set up in remembrance of his son.
Just wait for the next "leak" Hunter gives the National Enquirer to learn more details. As long as she needs money (which may be forever because she won't be satisfied with anything she gets), she'll keep selling to them. If she ever stops selling, they'll turn on her and all the sordid details of her life will come out.
As bad as Edwards is for getting involved with such a low life and putting his family through hell, she is worse.
By
Anonymous, at 6:43 AM
I read this description of Hunter elsewhere: "a crazy drug-addled new-ager hippie party girl who goes by five different names and who was the basis for a character in a Jay McInerney book."
And that's the nicest description anyone could give of her!
By
JeanLouise, at 8:36 AM
Anonymous-- he should not be allowing her to live ANYWHERE within the state of North Carolina. He should make her live in a different state.
Letting her live so close only foments the perception that he intends to let her move right in after EE dies... and if he hasn't seen her true character by now, if he still, Goddamnit, thinks she might be a good life partner after all this has happened; then he really has become dumb.
And if he thinks she will ever be satisfied with what he can give her, he is sadly mistaken.
Carolina has always been his home, but this affair has made him a pariah; it has made his home like a prison to him, to the point where people would point and whisper at him and EE eating dinner out.
It can be very tempting to forget about the bad times with a certain person, when you've lost most of your other friends... this is what Hunter is itching for; a world in which she's his only friend.
If it turns out that the lawyer/politician I came to love, whose life story and love story with his wife I became enchanted with, really only wanted a reality-show star's life after all... THAT would be the ultimate disillusionment. (SHE, obviously, is relishing the prospect of that; vamping for the camera with her daughter in hand like a pampered pooch; as if she's auditioning for Real Housewives of Chapel Hill.)
That is HER. That is not him. And it better not become him. He is NOT a professional celebrity, and it would be a tragedy if he forsook his formerly noble life, where he KNEW real love and real companionship, for their cheap imitations. If he chose, if he preferred the fake over the real.
By
Frances, at 10:07 AM
I just found out that Teresa Heinz Kerry has breast cancer now, too!
:-(
It's right now on the front page of Democratic Underground, Huffington Post, and even Yahoo.
By
Frances, at 10:39 AM
Frances, If John really did stop her from moving into the house and is fighting over her outrageous financial demands, it's probably safe to say he has finally seen Hunter for the gold digging slut she is. He probably can't stop her from moving to NC so let her learn the hard way that she isn't wanted there. She'll be as much of a pariah as Edwards if not more so. When people point at and whisper about her, she'll probably think it's a good thing. That is until they won't let their children around her or her daughter and won't have anything to do with her. When she's isolated without a party scene and drugs and the tabloids get tired of her, she'll run back to the worthless life she's always lived elsewhere.
Pray for Elizabeth to outlive them both by decades so she can be there for her children and someday for her grandchildren!
By
JeanLouise, at 5:17 PM
Jean Louise and Anonymous:
So Hunter wants her daughter to go to private school, eh? How very... like Heather Mills:
What's sad about all this is, of course, the child. McCartney and his wife Linda seem to have been model parents, who sent their children to state schools, looked after them themselves and strained to give them as much as possible a normal life.
He's desperate that Beatrice should avoid a gilded cage, but Mills wants her to have a golden one -- with first-class travel and private schooling. And if that wasn't bad enough, she'll have to spend much of her time with a vindictive fantasist who wanted to be famous but has ended up infamous.
--Independent Entertainment, March 2008
A while back, I looked for similarities between RH and Paul McCartney's ex-wife... and let's just say, I found a whole freakin' laundry list. Right down to thinking herself an authority on New Age, holistic well-being.
JRE would have come to a bad end with Hunter even if he HAD "done the right thing" and waited until he was single first.
In an eerie twist, Linda McCartney even had breast cancer...
"Every guy I've been out with has asked me to marry them within a week."
-- Heather Mills, on her appeal to the opposite sex
“The truth always outs in the end … no one gets away with those things. Certain journalists have written horrible things, and then they’ve got cancer, or they’ve had a tumour, or they’ve died. And it’s terrible for them, but they’ve done really evil things. I truly believe things come back round.”
--Mills, on why you shouldn't criticize her vegan restaurant
By
Frances, at 8:53 PM
You can sum up what Hunter is by this simple fact: She was paid (and continues to be paid) for having sex. You can use many different words to describe her but whichever you choose, she is nothing more than that and never will be. She is just another name on a long list of infamous affairs by worthless women without respect for themselves, other women or anyone else.
By
Anonymous, at 9:03 AM
This comment has been removed by the author.
By
Frances, at 1:03 PM
JeanLouise:
I'm sorry I didn't respond to this point before...
I wanted to be (more like)Elizabeth, too. Who wouldn't want to be... like her husband, she kept her morals in the process of becoming wealthy and accomplished; she has brains AND beauty AND power AND soul. She was exactly right when she said that others "wanted their joy and plenty".
But there's a way to get a piece of that joy and plenty WITHOUT taking from anybody else, or displacing anybody else. It's plain and simple friendship; in which you get to be a part of these remarkable peoples' lives, and thereby become a little bit more extraordinary yourself... and everybody treats each other with respect and dignity.
It can be disconcerting to admit it, but we become who we are in large part through our relationships. But friendship, or a rewarding work relationship, SHOULD suffice.
Though I can see where many people would think it's NOT enough.
For that, I blame our media; in particular our health, psych and medical media. For the past 30 years it has been unanimous of the opinion that more social support equals better health... and deep, intimate relationships are always better; are always going to have more salubrious effects than "weak ties". It all started with Linda Waite saying married people were happier, healthier and wealthier than unmarried people...
The effect of these studies, IMO, was mainly to make people anxious about their relational states. After all, if the message you're getting is that you're putting your very health at risk by not coupling up, you're going to go to greater, more disruptive lengths to become part of a couple, especially in this day of rotten health care. Within a relationship, you'll feel the pressure to constantly take its temperature, to always be asking yourself, "Is this relationship deep enough? Are we intimate enough?"
All this pressure from the medical media to get a social support system and get it NOW, doesn't look to me like very much help if the goal is for all of us to become more empathetic and sociable. Friends and lovers become badges of proof you're a normal person with a healthy social life-- rather than people in their own right, to treat with dignity. Which is a very desperate and self-seeking way to look at relationships.
What do you do about a study that happens to be true-- we are social creatures, and we are not healthy when we're isolated, this has been scientifically proven-- but still leaves a bad taste in your mouth?
By
Frances, at 1:29 PM
Frances, It's one thing to admire aspects of someone's life or personality and try to build those things into your own life. It's entirely different to try take someone else's life - whether by stealing it like Hunter or by leeching parts of it like Young or buying access to it like Baron. In every case, the attempt speaks volumes about the person doing it.
If Hunter had put half the effort into building a life of her own as she did in trying to steal another's life, she could have created a life with some value instead of the worthless existence she has. If Young had worked hard investing in himself and his abilities, he could have a career with meaning instead of an endless future as an outcast. If Baron had put himself on the line by entering politics to have his own power and influence, his legacy wouldn't be as the man who financed a disgusting cover up.
All three of them were looking for shortcuts because they didn't see value in themselves. Even if they had "won" everything they were after, they wouldn't have been satisfied and would still be failures. (When you sell your soul, you are soulless and life loses its meaning.) It’s easy to point to the media, reality “stars” and all the other people who gain something for themselves without doing the hard work they should as an explanation but it’s always been around. Think of the kids you grew up with who were handed material things by parents who weren’t involved in their lives. Those are the kids who didn’t appreciate what they had, expected the world to provide for them and often ended up in trouble of one type or another because they never learned values or morals.
Edwards associated with these people and is paying the price with no one to blame but himself. I know you see redeeming qualities in him but it’s hard to believe he went from being a loving, devoted husband and father to having sex the very night he met a strange woman waiting for him outside a hotel. It seems more likely the stories of multiple affairs are true. He “confessed” the affair to his wife in December only to continue it no more than five months later to conceive (probably intentionally by Hunter) a child. Regardless, he thought he could buy his way out of the situation not realizing Hunter was already talking and Young would as soon as the money stopped flowing.
You are right that Hunter will never stop demanding more and more. That’s why he should do what others have suggested by putting a reasonable amount in a trust run by an independent trustee so Hunter has to prove each expense is for the girl not for her. Then Edwards should stay away because it won’t help the kid to have the tabloids following her around to get pictures of them together. She won’t have a decent life with him in it so the kindest thing he can do is give her a life without him. Then he should focus on Elizabeth and their children if they still want him in their lives.
I feel for Elizabeth and her kids because of the pain they’ve been put through but Elizabeth knows no one can take her life. She is not replaceable, as no one is, because each person is unique. In Elizabeth’s case, she offers her family and friends extraordinary gifts that no one else can provide them – least of all a loser like Hunter. God bless Elizabeth and keep her safe and well!
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JeanLouise, at 8:55 AM
JeanLouise--
I don't think JRE had sex with this woman on the very night he met her. Sounds like something SHE would say. You already know that she's the primary source for the Enquirer, and she has been all along.
Unfortunately, because they were right about him once, the public will assume that they are always going to be right about him... not realizing that the primary source is an untrustworthy character using her "full creative license".
If it's Hunter, or one of her equally delusional friends, who says the affair started the night they met, I believe that all that took place was a job interview. Of course she's going to say that the affair came first and the job second, because it's an attempt to make JRE look like a man who hired her because of the affair, not a man who hired her and then had the affair. To make JRE look more sleazy, but also herself look good-- "I was able to get this good job, and all because of my super special sexual gifts".
The only one whose word I believe in all this is Elizabeth's. Not Hunter's, and not Young's, even though he is coming out with a book in a month (which I am definitely NOT reading).
I do have to wonder what connection, if any, exists between Hunter and Young. They both seem to be equally devoid of strength of character, and unable to live without leeching off others. They really are a lot closer to being "soulmates" with each other than Hunter ever was with JRE.
it’s hard to believe he went from being a loving, devoted husband and father to having sex the very night he met a strange woman waiting for him outside a hotel.
That's because he never really stopped being that devoted, loving husband and father. Even right in the middle of the affair. And that's what makes this all so cognitively dissonant: he never acted less loving to Elizabeth, even right in the thick of it. He was devoted and a cheater at the same time.
It's a lot easier to process it when the man is more obviously insensitive, like Mark Sanford.
And that's why I think that Hunter's biggest use to him was as a life coach, which I will go into greater depth in the next post. A life-coach relationship is emotionally close and intense without being a "love relationship"; but most important, whatever goes on in the context of such a relationship, even if it's sex, would not be seen as cheating. It would be seen as therapy, and compartmentalized as such without a peep from your conscience. For when you're hurting, the right thing to do is get help, right?
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Frances, at 12:52 PM
Frances, You are entitled to your opinion. Mine is that Edwards was using Hunter for the sex she willingly offered and not for any deeper connection. He didn't interview Hunter for a legitimate job upon encountering her outside a hotel.
He did betray Elizabeth and his family. He lied and lied and lied. He even allowed Elizabeth to defend him knowing that he had still not been honest with her. He compounded her public humiliation by his actions.
He acted less loving to Elizabeth by continuing the affair. Certainly she told him no more contact of any type after this "confession" and then he had sex with Hunter while planning to renew his vows with Elizabeth. How sickening!
I don't get the comments about life coach and getting help when you are hurting. An affair is never the answer to some pain for problem in life or marriage. See a counselor or therapist not a whore!
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JeanLouise, at 1:09 PM
Why do you assume that the affair came first and her job on the campaign came second? Because if Hunter or Young is the one who first floated this idea, then it is NOT trustworthy.
I don't know what to think about Young's book, or how reliable it is. On the one hand, he's known JRE for a long time, and that's the main source of any credibility he has. On the other hand, he's out for himself, is writing from the point of view of a thwarted acolyte to begin with, and has it in for Elizabeth as well as John, so he will do his best to make them both look as bad as possible.
The biggest mystery to me will always be why JRE either didn't perform his due diligence on her-- something totally out-of-character from what he was like as a lawyer-- or ignored any evidence that he did find, or warnings that his friends and loved ones brought up.
It doesn't seem that if his relationship with Hunter was just sex with no emotions at all, he would have allowed it to go on that long. At the same time, though; him supposedly promising her marriage after EE died is something I see coming from HER mind, not his; she was the pursuer here. So I believe there was some degree of emotional involvement on his part, though not enough for him to be in love... and what fits that happy medium of emotion? A friendship-- or a therapy/life coach relationship.
I don't get the comments about life coach and getting help when you are hurting. An affair is never the answer to some pain for problem in life or marriage. See a counselor or therapist not a whore!
To many New Age gurus, affairs and sex ARE counseling and therapy:
New Agers have borrowed such rituals from Buddhist or Hindu Tantric traditions or modern Paganism, all of which use sexuality as tools in the path toward self-awareness or enlightenment. ... Those New Agers who employ such rites understand them as self-empowering and energizing, though many others highlight the power of ceremonial sex to overcome past sexual abuse or negative sexual experiences and heal the individual. In this regard the New Age has clearly differentiated its understanding of ritual sex from its Asian and Pagan precursors in a manner in keeping with the broader New Age focus on healing. Many New Agers who engage in ceremonial sexuality also value it as an alternative to the Jewish-Christian western mainstream.
(link)
Hunter's New Age proclivities are well-known; it's not that much of a stretch to imagine her proclaiming herself JRE's personal guru, or the campaign's guru.
Remember that charity yoga session with well-known Transcendental Meditationist Russell Simmons, that JRE did in the summer of '06? ... I'd bet my boots it was Hunter who set that up. TM, by the way, has its own set of <a href="http://tmfree.blogspot.com/bats in its belfry</a>.
More later...
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Frances, at 2:46 PM
Whoops. This is what happens when you don't preview first...
Remember that charity yoga session with well-known Transcendental Meditationist Russell Simmons, that JRE did in the summer of '06? ... I'd bet my boots it was Hunter who set that up, with her connections to both the tabloid and the New Age circuit.
TM, by the way, has its own set of bats in its belfry.
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Frances, at 2:53 PM
This comment has been removed by the author.
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benny06, at 3:29 AM
Frances, You've answered your own question. You believe Elizabeth. She was the person who revealed Hunter waited outside a hotel for hours to approach Edwards with the come on "You are so hot" and he responded. He would never have considered her for a "job" in the campaign with that introduction if there hadn't been more to it then. He would have walked away as he should have and that would have been the end of it.
The "job" as supposed videographer began July 1 but no videos appeared until mid to late November and then it was a very small number of extremely short pieces. An untrained amateur could have done more than that; although, Hunter wasn't a professional videographer by any means. Again, Elizabeth expressed the campaign's displeasure with the amount and quality of videos provided. Hunter was hired to have sex and the videographer job was a cover from the start.
The truth with all of the details will come out when the grand jury completes its investigation because Hunter and others are telling all which includes the timing. It isn’t easy to accept as no one wants to believe Edwards did what he did. The sad part is that Elizabeth will be hurt yet again. She shouldn't have to endure more. Thank goodness she is so strong because most women would have broken by now.
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JeanLouise, at 5:43 AM
Details will only come out if Edwards is charged with a crime. I don't think their will be charges since it has been over 4 months since Hunter testified. Remember Young's ABC interview is scheduled on January 29th and his book is due out early February.
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StandupGuy?, at 12:45 PM
StandupGuy: Thanks for bringing up the date of Young's TV interview. I didn't know it was so close to the book's release date (Feb. 2nd). I will know to AVOID the teevee in that time frame.
By
Frances, at 10:54 PM
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