Benny's World

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Mother's Day Thoughts

I am in Branson, MO, and taking a break from a family visit. So far, it's a been a good visit, albeit I have some pain in my abomen. It will subside.

Twice I have been a grocery store to purchase some items. And after the clerks have handed me my bag and my change, I'm thanked with "Thank you, and Happy Mother's Day."

I know I look the age of a mother, and maybe a young grandmother. I'm nearly 50, so that's understandable. Still, I can't help but feel a little sad each time I hear the words, "Happy Mother's Day."

This year, I am motherless. I have been motherless before, but generally it was temporarily. My mother was sometimes gone to a mental health facility on Mother's Day, but often, she was allowed for a 2 hour pass to come with us and have lunch. Sometimes she didn't understand what was going on, and I recall one time when she had just had EST, and she hardly recognized me. It took her nearly 2 hours to get dressed because she was so confused by the treatment. This is why today I am not an advocate of EST. I think other medications can work, they just take longer.

Nonetheless, I always hoped I would get her back, and I did. But on March 29th this year, she left, and she never came back. I know she is at peace, and no way will she ever experience the pain or hell she had to go through the last 2 weeks in her life, or the grief she had when she lost loved ones or friends.

As my spouse and I are with my brother-in-law, his wife, their son, his wife, and their daughter, I decided on one of those visits to the grocery store to pick up a small vase with a simple flower arrangement and give it to them. My spouse and I are motherless, but my nephew and his stepdaughter (his wife's by a previous marriage) aren't. To me, this is a first step in honoring mothers in our family. The ladies haven't seen them yet.

Grocery clerks do not mean to be insensitive to me by wishing me "Happy Mother's Day." But as it is my first one without my mother, and I do not have children, and I am away from my beloved pets, Benson, Elmora, and Sydney, I can only feel a tug at my heart when I heard those words. And I get teary-eyed.

Elizabeth Edwards, if you see this message, I wish you and yours happy mother's day. I hope that Cate, Emma Claire, Jack, and yes, John bestow on you more gifts of peace and love. I know from reading Resilience that your mother resides in an assisted living place, and at times, it is difficult for the two of you to communicate, but understand that she too will be in a place when you won't see her for quite awhile.

Happy Mother's Day to BW Readers.

My mother, Nell, RIP

Meadows of Heaven by Eveflower, courtesy of Flickr

Labels: , ,


  • Thanks. I did see it. Have had a great day with everyone (except Cate who is headed south after her last law school exam), and an early airport trip with John who is headed to El Salvador to work with the Fuller Center for most of the week. Elizabeth

    By Blogger Elizabeth Edwards, at 12:39 PM  

  • Thank you, Elizabeth. I got teary eyed going into a Corningware store and seeing a set a dishes that looked identical to the first set my mother got when I was 7 or 8 years old. We ate off plastic plates, and we got them as a set in a grocery store, where they gave you the first one for 29 cents, and we bought a couple of more pieces. Then my daddy told my brother to the store and bought the rest for mother's day, and we used Gold Bond stamps to get her a glass pitcher since our other one was not a very nice one. My mother felt very loved and special for her. Yes, she went through hell later, but this memory of happiness adds to the new reality you describe in your book, as truly I would not want back the life I had then. I only want to know I learned lessons and recognize the gifts.

    I am glad to hear John is going off to do some work in El Salvador next week with the Fuller Center. I'll post an update later. Poverty is an issue near and dear to my heart, as you can tell from reading this comment.

    By Blogger benny06, at 2:57 PM  

  • This is my fifth Mother's day without my Momma to wish a Happy Mother's day too. My Mother always said children were a blessing from God given to women. I was blessed at age 36 to have twins - a boy & girl who are almost 16 years old. Hope all have had a wonderful Mother's day.

    By Blogger StandupGuy?, at 3:52 PM  

  • It would also help if I could type in complete sentences, even if I am in a hurry....:-)

    I saw Star Trek and one talks about alternative universes. Resilence is about new realities. Wonder what the two have in common.

    BW Readers, I encourage you to buy the work or check it out at the Public Library. It's not real linear, but it makes sense grabbing pieces in trying to put together another puzzle that is forward looking.

    And I know of some NC'ers who are going to Elizabeth's book reading next Saturday. I will be watching Tuesday night on LKL.

    By Blogger benny06, at 7:33 PM  

  • As an only child, you know I called my Mom on Mother's Day. Thanks for relating those stories about yours. precious memories to hold onto.
    Hugs & Peace,Ed

    By Blogger Ed (Predictor), at 6:11 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home