Benny's World

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Heart Warriors

A friend of mine is in the throes of a break-up with his partner. They lived together for 9 years, then she told him about 2 months ago, "I don't feel for you anymore." He has moved out of their house. I don't blame him for being hurt as she presented her feelings at the time his best male friend was on his deathbed. She wants to be friends with him, and I think she's sincere about it, but having a difficult time understanding what that could be herself. My gut feeling she's in the mode of Gordon Lightfoot's "If You Could Read My Mind".
If you could read my mind love
What a tale my thoughts could tell
Just like an old time movie
’bout a ghost from a wishin’ well
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
With chains upon my feet
You know that ghost is me
And I will never be set free
As long as I’m a ghost that you can’t see

If I could read your mind love
What a tale your thoughts could tell
Just like a paperback novel
The kind that drugstores sell
When you reach the part where the heartaches come
The hero would be me
But heroes often fail
And you won’t read that book again
Because the ending’s just too hard to take

I’d walk away like a movie star
Who gets burned in a three way script
Enter number two
A movie queen to play the scene
Of bringing all the good things out in me
But for now love, let’s be real

I never thought I could act this way
And I’ve got to say that I just don’t get it
I don’t know where we went wrong
But the feelin’s gone
And I just can’t get it back

I feel really bad for him. I can hear and sometimes feel his pain. I've been through so many heartaches in my life, that I consider myself a heart warrior and can empathize. I've been in the situation where "it was a good thing we had going...going, gone."

Before writing this post, I was wondering through the blogosphere and decided to check the She's-a-Sprite blog that fellow UU Tank in Texas turned me on to.

There was a poem posted and since it's not known who wrote it, I thought I would post it here. It's a great reminder of what a good friend should be.

"Portrait of a Friend"

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts,
or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will
search for answers.

I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain,
nor the future with its untold stories.
But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can't keep your feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;
Yet I can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;
I can only support you, encourage you,
and help you when you ask.

I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship,
from your values, from me.
I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.

I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,
But I can give you the room to change, room to grow,
room to be yourself.

I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,
But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces
and put them back in place.

I can't tell you who you are.
I can only love you and be your friend.

So, I call my friend regularly. He wants the life he had with her back. Personally, I think his relationship with her is now over, but I have suggested they if they do reunite, it will have to be on both of their terms.

However, I know that even when I offer suggestions, I can only love him, support him, and just be his friend.


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