Benny's World

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Progress Report Sent to GHWB & Babs Bush

Afraid not very well, Georgie. Look at the progress report sent to your parents recently.

United States Grammar School Second Term Report to Parents
August 27, 2005

Dear Mr. And Mrs. G.H.W. Bush,

We have repeatedly attempted to reach you in order to discuss your son, Georgie, and his failing second term with us, and are still awaiting an appropriate response. We are experiencing more than the usual problems with your son’s behaviour, and we really don’t believe that scribbling “Love It or Leave It” on our previous letters to you and faxing them back to us serves any productive purpose.

So it is with a sense of grave and gathering threat that I must insist you read and respond to the following, as things here are now completely out of control.

While it seemed a foregone conclusion that Georgie would not be returning for a second term (due to his abysmal performance last term), we have nevertheless been forced to abide by the decision of the student body, who voted on the issue last November. Amazingly, Georgie was able to garner as much as 220% of the votes in certain classrooms. In one glaringly suspect instance, a student named “Diebold” (who, to this day, we have not been able to confirm as a pupil here, due to a complete lack of any paper record) cast more votes for your son than we have students.

We had hoped this matter would receive some attention in our teachers’ newsletter, The Mainstream News Media, but apparently other more important events superseded the questionable outcome of our little voting process, including the break-up of two of our teachers, Mr. Brad and Ms. Jen, and a ticket sale drive for our 4th Graders’ school play, “The Runaway Bride”.

First and foremost, we must inform you that Georgie’s already poor grades have plummeted even further. On his most recent exams in our Telling the Truth to America and The Handling of Iraq courses, he scored the lowest marks we have ever seen. In years past, when we could count on the School Board to act appropriately, Georgie would have been expelled from our institution based on these marks alone.

Along with failing grades in every subject (Economics, Homeland Security, Immigration Enforcement, etc.), Georgie’s attitude can only be described as arrogant and dismissive. When reproached by his teachers and fellow students for his unacceptable behaviour, Georgie counters with nonsensical outbursts about having "capital to spend" and an "overwhelming Conservative mandate". Quite frankly, we are at our wits’ end trying to understand what it is he’s talking about, but we strongly suspect that illegal drugs and/or participation in some religious cult might be behind these incredibly inane comments.

While our entire teaching staff has tried to placate Georgie (and honestly, at least half of the staff should know better), his demands are getting more outrageous every day. He is now insisting that our science class on human reproduction include what he calls the “stork theory”. To be perfectly candid, his thought processes seem to lack any discernable design at all, intelligent or otherwise.

Georgie’s attitude towards schoolwork continues to be lackadaisical at best. By way of example, on a recent pop quiz on Current Events (i.e. the Economy, the War In Iraq, dealing with Iran and North Korea, US Job Losses, etc.), Georgie scribbled the words “We’ve turned the corner,” in response to every single question.

Instead of focusing on his studies, Georgie spends an inordinate amount of his time in the schoolyard, engaging in his own questionable pastimes. His favourite seems to be his “collections”, whereby he talks other students into donating money for what he describes as “just causes” and “necessary actions”. A few inquiries into where these funds were going turned up several checks in staggeringly large denominations, made payable to someone called “Halib Burton”. Needless to say, a full investigation is now underway; only a simpleton would not see immediately that there is something untoward happening there.

Georgie has also attempted to lure other students into some kind of scheme involving the privatization of their lunch money – thankfully, cooler heads have prevailed and the more he talks about the idea, the less interest the other students have in the entire enterprise. Actually, we have been encouraged by the fact that most of Georgie’s ideas are receiving the same tepid response – it’s as though the other pupils have finally caught on to the fact that for the most part, Georgie really doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

We attempted last term, obviously without success, to warn you about Georgie’s habit of choosing his friends from among the most objectionable students. Regrettably, he has fared no better in this regard this term than in the last.

Georgie has been associating with a gang of thugs who call themselves ‘The Foxes’. These children are known for spreading false rumours about students they don’t like, as well as distributing totally false information to pupils who are studying for exams. This has resulted in more than a few failing grades.

In addition, many of these hooligans continually harass other students who are not part of Georgie’s group, and the name-calling is now totally out of hand. To be perfectly frank, we don’t know which aspect of this is more disturbing: the vileness of the things these children say, or the fact that Georgie is too cowardly to say them himself and relies on others to do his “dirty work” for him.

Although we are not particularly looking forward to Georgie’s remaining three years with us, we find some comfort in the fact that many of his friends will not, in all likelihood, be returning to our institution next fall, as it seems doubtful they will be able to pass their mid-term exams. We are hopeful that this loss of support from his usual cronies will cause Georgie to tone down his arrogant rhetoric, and bring an end to some of his more scatterbrained schemes.

Moving to another topic for just a moment, we want to remind you that we are still engaged in discussions with our legal counsel about ridding ourselves of Georgie’s lap dog, KarlRover, who your son insists on taking everywhere, despite the animal’s penchant for vicious behaviour. KarlRover has bitten and mauled one student too many, and we are looking forward to the removal of this filthy, uncontrollable animal in the not too distant future.

In addition to the aforementioned, I am prompted to write to you due to a most disturbing report regarding your son’s failure to complete his assignments in a timely manner. One of our teachers, Ms. C. Sheehan (classes include “Civic Responsibility 101” and “Speaking Out – Patriotism in Action”) assigned Georgie a simple task over the summer holidays; i.e. an oral essay on “What is Meant by a ‘Noble Cause’”.

Lest you think this was an onerous assignment, Ms. Sheehan did not place any restrictions on the length or brevity of the essay – Georgie was free to respond in as few words as he felt he could comfortably pronounce – the only proviso being that the essay was to be delivered in a one-on-one presentation.

As of this writing, Georgie has steadfastly refused to complete this assignment. We were informed by his friend, Scottie, that Georgie is on a ‘working’ summer vacation and is too busy to address this task. However, many of us have seen Georgie riding his bike, playing ‘rancher’, and attending parties over the past several weeks.

This type of conduct is disturbing to everyone, and has left a wide-spread perception amongst the student body that perhaps Georgie isn’t the compassionate little boy he has always so staunchly held himself out to be. We leave this matter in your capable hands, and trust that you will advise your child appropriately.

As you are undoubtedly aware, this will be Georgie’s last term with us. In view of the problems he has displayed academically and socially, we must hereby inform you that any applications for admittance into our program on behalf of your other children will not be accepted. This may seem a harsh position to take, but to be quite blunt, we feel that our institution’s heretofore sterling reputation has suffered enough.

Yours Truly,

Ms. J.Q. Public

Assistant Principal


This was a delightful, but at the same time, sobering satire about W's performance as president. I particularly liked the last paragraph.

Scarfed unabashedly from the DU. Written by Nancy Greggs.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

New Country Song--Different from Toby Keith's

I heard this on the Bradshow this was played at Camp Casey.

By David Kent

Takin' My Country Back

Country Music's Got Mamas And Daddys
We Got Bar Rooms And Old Heartbreak Songs
But I 'M Here Today To Stand Up And Say
How I Feel About My Home Sweet Home
What's Left, What's Right And What's Wrong... And

I’m Takin’ My Country Back
Son, You Ain't Been Doin’ Her Right
Oh I Been Watchin’ You And I Don’t Like
How You've Been Treatin’ My Stars And Stripes
You Took Our Jobs And Sent ‘Em Overseas
Now We Owe Billions To The Red Chinese
You Blew The Budget And You Botched Iraq
So I’m Takin’ My Country Back

We Had A Bundle In The Treasury Drawer
More Than There Had Ever Been Before
But Every Day We're Drownin' Deeper In Debt
Maybe Four Years Should Be All You Get
Then You Gave Tax Breaks To The Millionaires
And Tried To Make The Workin’ Man Pay
But You Can’t Tax A Man When His Jobs Not There
Now Look At Where We Are Today…Hey

I’m Takin’ My Country Back
Son, You Ain't Been Doin’ Her Right
Oh I Been Watchin’ You And I Don’t Like
How You've Been Treatin’ My Stars And Stripes
You Got Too Many Fancy Friends For Me
The Saudis Treat You Like You're Royalty
You Blew The Budget And You Botched Iraq
Now I’m Takin’ My Country Back

Now I Can Understand Why You Were Hot
'Cause Bin Laden Never Did Get Caught
So You Said We Had Saddam To Blame
Tried To Tell Us It Was All The Same
But Now The Years Roll By And Our Kids Keep Dyin'
You Don't Even Have A Plan To Bring 'Em Home
And Those W.M.D. You Promised On T.V.
Hey Admit It, You Figured It Wrong... So I'm Takin' My Country Back

Now You Don’t Know My Name, But You Know Who I Am
I'm Your Everyday Work Hard, Play Hard
Raise Kids And Pray Hard Common Man....
And Lord Knows I Love This Land...That's Why

I’m Takin’ My Country Back
Son, You Ain't Been Doin’ Her Right
Oh I Been Watchin’ You And I Don’t Like
How You've Been Treatin’ My Stars And Stripes
You Say "Unite" But You Divide Us More
Cussin' Each Other On The Senate Floor
Ain't We Supposed To Be Above All That ?
Hey I’m Takin’ My Country Back

I Got My Family And My Church And Flag...
Now I'm Takin' My Country Back

Hybrid Cars: Good Alternative for Motoring

Democracy Now webcasted a segment today entitled: "Hybrid Cars: How Alternative Technologies Are Shaping the Future of Car Travel." I thought this was interesting since DH and I are in the 2nd year of making payments on a Toyta Prius 2004.


We turn to the future of fossil fuel-based transportation in the United States. Gasoline prices continue to hit record highs this week, reaching above $2.60 per gallon and $65 a barrel. According to the Washington Post, last week saw the biggest one-week jump in the average price of a gallon of gas since the Energy Department began compiling the data 15 years ago. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration proposed new fuel efficiency standards on Tuesday. The updated standards would change the way compliance is measured starting with some SUVs and trucks built in 2008. So-called light trucks would be required to increase their fuel efficiency by 1.8 miles per gallon over four years.

Read the rush transcript here.

Here's my little "Jenny"
.Viva le hybrid! To know more about the Prius, click here. This guy has put up a manual, logged his mileage, and gives the best tips for operating the car to maximize its benefits.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Even Young Republicans Like to Play Bingo

Even those in Salt Lake City Get the Blues

Do these protesters look like hippie--pinko types to you?

From today's Salt Lake Tribune:

"In downtown Salt Lake City's Pioneer Park, between 1,000 and 2,000 anti-war protesters gathered to speak and demonstrate against the continuing fighting in Iraq.

Organizers were thrilled at the turnout and Salt Lake City Mayor Rocky Anderson called on Utahns to make the protest a turning point in national opposition to Bush policies in Iraq and on environmental issues.

"Our nation was lied into a war," said Anderson, who was booed by VFW members earlier in the day but cheered by Bush protesters in Pioneer Park.

Protest organizer Eileen McCabe-Olsen, said: "A fire has been lit."

Celeste Zappala, a co-founder of Gold Star Families, and the mother of a son killed in Baghdad, said she was amazed by the size of the anti-war demonstration in conservative Utah, which gave Bush his largest margin of victory in the past two elections. "

From Yahoo News:

Among them was retired Air Force Lt. Col. George Muller of Salt Lake City, who said he believed there has been a shift in the country's attitude toward the war.

"That's what it's going to take — veterans groups, veterans and mothers who have lost kids speaking out," Muller said.

Bush has refused to meet this month with Sheehan, who lost her son last year in Iraq and left the camp near his ranch last week to tend to her hospitalized mother. She and family members of several other soldiers killed in Iraq met with the president in June of last year.

Celeste Zappala of Pennsylvania, another mother who lost her son and has been protesting with Sheehan, flew to Salt Lake City to speak at the rally. Zappala said the large turnout gave her hope for peace.

"It amazes me," said Zappala, whose son Sherwood Baker died while serving with the Pennsylvania National Guard. "I always thought of Salt Lake as a sleepy, conservative, buttoned-up place."

Meanwhile...Utah TV Commercial Refuses to Air Cindy Sheehan Ad

ABC's affiliate in Salt Lake City, KTVX, is refusing to run an ad featuring Cindy Sheehan. The station claimed the ad was an "inappropriate commercial advertisement" that could "be offensive to our community in Utah." (paragraph taken from Democracy Now website) Another story from Newsday is linked here.

I think at least 1500-2000 folks wouldn't be offended by the ad. Maybe more.

My understanding is that W received a lukewarm reception at his speech to the VFW folks attending a convention there.

Cindy Sheehan caused a spark; Salt Lake citizens blew on spark in the kindling and made it into a small fire, but red and hot. Rocky Anderson gets the mayor of the month award. If there isn't one, let's create one!

Good job! Many thanks to Sean, our Utah patriot from the DU for posting his pictures. I borrowed a couple of them for this post.